Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan
get together to make a sex tape with over 20 cameras beside Sheen's
bed. The time-lapsed tape fast forwards through the two doing all sorts
of bedroom antics, including gymnastics, riding a horse, and having
clowns jump in under the sheets. Sheen is pulled into the air by a
paranormal force and thrown against walls, shelves, and doors until he
lands on the bed again. Lohan is frightened so she decides to go home
when she flies into the air as well; she becomes possessed and throws
him into the camera and kills him. The text explains that Sheen's body
was found that day but he didn't stop partying until days later, and
that his three kids were found missing, Lohan was arrested, again, and a
reward was put out for the missing children.
Several months later, Ja'Marcus and D'Andre are walking in the Humboldt County woods in search of cannabis plants to steal. After stealing one and fleeing, they take shelter in a cabin in the woods.
Upon entering they see three strange creatures, later confirmed to be
Sheen's children, and turn them in for the reward. The feral children
are placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few
months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial
custody. When Sheen's brother, Dan Sanders and his wife Jody come to
collect them, they are told they can have them if they agree to stay in a
large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. Jody is
reluctant to take the kids at first but soon adjusts to having them. In
an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet
performance, Swan Lake, and is cast in the lead role as the Swan Queen.
Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity
in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn
from the children that the attacks on their home are by "Mama",
the mother of the children, who is under a curse and is trying to get
them back so she can sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria, the
couple's Hispanic live-in maid, is frightened and keeps experimenting
with various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil
spirits in the house. During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest
progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research
facility; ironically, Dan is not bright enough to realize that one of
the chimpanzees, Caesar, is now actually much smarter than he is.
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